what's ever good enough.

There is never a point when a parent is fully satisfied with their child. In my opinion, a parent always feels that their child could do better, whether it's in school, sports, or getting a job. That's how I feel about my parents or at least only my mom. My dad has always been the more laid back type. However, my mom has always pushed me to do well in school, but at the same time keep up with tennis and a job. Throughout my entire life she has added stress to my life by forcing me to constantly see teachers, to ace every single tests, but frankly there is a point when I can't handle everything she hands me. My plate is stacked to the top and I can't add anything more. Thank goodness she finally let me quit work (leave of absence) because I was getting overwhelmed especially with v. tennis.

So yesterday was my last day of work and I was really happy I no longer had to serve icecream anymore. However, I was also disappointed in not getting anymore pay checks. Even though I quit work, it still has not yet cleared up my schedule by much. During the hours I was supposed to be working HAS to be spent studying. It was what I promised my mom when I quit.

I feel like she will never be proud of me because there is always something she can find a flaw in. For instance, if I do finish all my homework she will hound on me to get ahead of other things. School unfortunately has a never ending amount of work that could potentially get done. If you already finish everything that's due on a certain day, then you can then go on to studying for that test the next day or accomplish additional homework due on other days. Does anyone feel like they've been trying to please other people, but in the end you're the one that's not happy? That's how I've been feeling for the past few days. Like anything good I achieve is not good enough for my mom. Even though, she is full japanese, my mom is like one of those crazy strict korean mom's (stereotypical...sorry). But sometimes I just need a break from school, from tennis, from everything and allow time for myself. I can't even get time to myself in my own room without having my sister come in and bug me or my mom start lecturing me about school. Everyone says high school years are one of the best in your life. If this is good, then I wonder how junk it'll be when I actually have a carreer.